tigerpants's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Turkey Shoot Every year, when I head back to LA after the Thanksgiving visit to the family, I start to make holiday resolutions. I will never go home for that long again. If I do go home for that long again, I will most certainly not stay with my family. If I do stay with my family, I will insist that I get an actual bed to sleep on this time. If I can�t get the bed, I will insist on the stacking of mattresses, so I don�t snap, crackle, and pop my way off the floor every morning. You get the drift. At the end of my internal diatribe, as the months pass, I forget my resolutions, and make plans to head home yet again. And I get there, and everything is exactly the same as it always is, and the monologue starts again. I will not come home for that long again next year, etc. But deep down, I know I will. Because how can you not go home? You can�t pretend your family doesn�t exist. That�s just silly. Thanksgiving is always a huge pile of mixed emotions for me. I don�t love it in LA. I don�t have tons of great friends that I hang out with every weekend. I don�t have a fab job that the little people envy. I can barely pay my rent some months. So going home is good in that respect. I get to visit people who know me very well, and live for free for a week. But while I�m there, I�m also reminded of the many reasons I chose to move away, and how I�m in a much better place, in some ways. It�s hard. Negotiating family issues is a challenge for everyone, and I�m certain that the things my family goes through are certainly not unique. But I wish I was better at coping and managing myself. I wish I didn�t so easily slip back into old patterns. Finishing the week with some of us barely speaking to each other yet again is not fun. And never will be. It�s childish, and a poor way to deal with anything. Sigh. In other news, I learned when I got back that the department I used to work in before The Dreaded Department was laid off on Monday. The ENTIRE department. Out the door by Dec. 17. Isn�t that wild? I�m kinda floored. It�s a move we�ve been worried about for some time now, and now that it�s happened, we�re wondering when the executions will begin in other departments. The panic level is higher than it�s ever been. For some time, we�ve heard rumors that they�re trying to switch over from staff employees to freelance employees. The VP that was denying that rumor most heavily is leaving The Company this week, so perhaps it�s true. It�s how most of this industry functions, so it�s not an utter shock to the system, but having staff positions was one of the main reasons this company was able to keep employees for so long, as the pay is pretty dreadful. Without that reason, people will be scrabbling to get out. I�d almost rather they just eliminate us altogether, rather than dragging it out, and not telling us anything. Half the time, I�ve never even heard of the shows airing on this network. They really don�t share much of anything. It seems a little odd, but maybe it�s very normal. Who knows? And in sad news, I managed to wait too long to order the lovely pink laptop bag I�d found on eBags, and now it doesn�t appear to be available. Sigh. It was pink! It was perfect. And now it�s gone forever. I miss you already, pretty pink bag. I�m also trying desperately to come up with a reason to buy an iPod. I just love those little critters. But I don�t ride the subway, and I don�t listen to music while working out. I�d have to get the iTravel thingee to use it in my car. And I�d have to skip the iPod mini if I wanted to put my entire CD collection on it, as the mini is too mini. But I have no real reason whatsoever to buy one. Except extreme iPod lust. Man, are those things cute. � 2004 Tigerpants Nation (Rebecca Gross) 5:12 p.m. - 2004-12-02 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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